Anyone that knows me fairly well probably already knows that I have a slight obsession with TED Talks. A good friend of mine recommended one to me several years ago. Its called "The Power of Vulnerability" (found in the links section). Changed. My. Life. I watch it at least monthly. So what is so fascinating about this particular talk that I could watch it so often? Quite simply, her research has been liberation. I recommend it to everyone. But in short, this is what its taught me.
It is in our ability to accept vulnerability, the courage to do something whole-heartedly with no guarantees, a willingness to let go of who we should be and the ability to simply be who we are, we find true happiness. We find a sense of belonging and love; and it turns out that the only difference between people who feel a strong sense of belonging and those who don't is that the ones who feel it are the ones who feel they are worthy of it.
And so in my quest for happiness and peace, I am embracing my own vulnerability. I am allowing myself to feel the way I feel, because the emotions I have are real, regardless of being rational or logical. No one can tell me that they do not exist. And accepting the reality of our feelings is what allows us to work through them and to be healed through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I am allowing myself to be who I am, without a fear that I am not worthy of connection. Without the fear that there is a secret side of me, a side that if people found out about, they would not love me. This vulnerability is fundamental. And I am finding that the more I allow myself to be who I really am, to be vulnerable, the more other people allow themselves to be vulnerable when they are with me.
We live in a society that numbs the way we feel. We spend money, eat, exercise, drink, get hooked on games, waste hours on Facebook, all to distract us from the things we may be experiencing. But we cannot numb only the feelings of disappointment and discouragement. Along with those feelings come our feelings of acceptance, joy, peace, and gratitude. So although allowing myself to feel pain and imperfection will be and has been difficult, it has also allowed me to greater appreciate my joy and my success. I know that my quest for embracing vulnerability is one that I do not make alone. So I hope that in some small form, this blog may encourage people to find the strength to acknowledge their inner feelings, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities; and through this find the deepest feelings of acceptance and wholeness.
As Brene Brown said Vulnerability is the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness, but it appears that it's also the birthplace of joy, of creativity, of belonging, of love.
My book is open. I am letting my story be told.